OMG, I Want to Rent That House: Ibiza, Spain

Tagomago Island, Ibiza (Vrbo): This is the summer of excess, the summer of freedom, the summer of overindulgence after a long dark winter of the global soul. Or so we’re being told. We’re taking the new vaccinated mood as permission to plan a vacation that’s not just any old holiday jaunt. Summer 2021 demands the best, we’ve decided, and the best is a private island off the coast of Ibiza.

The first thought when you consider staying on a private island is: I’m packing my bags immediately! The second is a little more practical: How do you get there? How do you get off of there? While keeping your partying local is the most relaxing choice while staying on Tagomago, the island is a short boat ride from Ibiza with transportation available 24 hours a day. Or you can choose to lean into your life as a member of the rich and famous and take a helicopter to and from the mainland.

The island covers 148 acres, but you and your chosen group will be the only residents while staying in the gorgeous villa. Well, you and your private chef who comes with the home, of course.

All that the eye can see here is yours…for the reasonable price of $26k per day. Not included, but also on the menu, is a yacht that you are welcome to add to your vacation tab. (Please take note of the additional sunbathing terrace on the roof for those who feel the need to fly even closer to the sun.)

Modern, classic, clean. This home embraces an über contemporary feel and leaves the pops of color to the stars of man and nature: the sapphire saltwater pool and cerulean sea.

This is not your momma’s all-inclusive resort. This Tagomago Island villa has a chef and a bar full of booze waiting to cater to your every whim at no extra charge. But what this palatial all-inclusive pad has thankfully done away with are the obnoxious fellow vacationers blocking your way to the buffet.

There are plenty of outdoor terraces on which to dine. But if you choose to have a more formal evening meal around the dining room table, you can throw open the floor-to-ceiling windows and let the breeze blow in.

When you aren’t enjoying some relaxing after a morning of relaxing, you can indulge in some private sports on your private island. A speed boat is available to cater to all of your water sports dreams, or you can enjoy a lovely hike through your very own nature reserve. Picnic lunch at the resident lighthouse, anyone?

Five bedrooms means you can assemble the perfect lively but intimate vacation crew of your nine favorite people in the world. May we recommend you wait to calculate the per person daily tab until after you’ve had the vacation of your dreams?

Seven bathrooms means that there won’t be a wait when you’re primping for a night out on your own private island. Good news is, when you own the club, the party can start whenever you deign to show up.

We prefer our bathrooms to resemble our favorite spas: relaxing, serene, and accompanied by a glass of Dom.

Four of the five bedrooms have floor-to-ceiling sea views. In this lovely boudoir, you can go immediately from bed to a dip in the sea. Sunrise swim, anyone?

Normally, you have a tough decision to make when it comes to choosing a vacation rental: do you want to catch the sunrise or the sunset? Here, there is no Sophie’s choice. Like the Roaring Twenties we’ve been promised this decade will be, you can have it all!

Yes, we will take our evening cocktails in the Jacuzzi, thank you very much. And we won’t complain if they’re accompanied by a platter of chocolate-covered strawberries.

The listing agent may be a bit biased when they describe this property as “one of the most exclusive private Islands in the World.” But, to be fair, we haven’t seen any private island we like better. Secluded with an abundance of luxuries of both the natural and manmade varieties, this is exactly the spot in which we want to usher in the Roaring Twenties 2.0.

Book Your Stay: Tagomago Island, Ibiza, Spain: $26,000/night via Vrbo